Recognizing Anxiety in Young Children: Signs Parents Often Miss
- Chris Theisen
- Dec 3
- 2 min read
Anxiety in young children doesn’t always look like worry or fear. In fact, it often shows up through behaviors that seem unrelated — tantrums, clinginess, or even physical complaints. Because children don’t yet have the vocabulary to describe internal feelings (“My stomach feels tight and my thoughts won’t stop”), their anxiety comes out in the only ways they know.
So how can you recognize anxiety when it doesn’t look like anxiety at all?
Emotional Signs
Children often express internal fear through big emotions:
Sudden outbursts or crying when separated from a parent
Overreacting to small problems
Avoiding new situations even if they seem exciting
Kids may say things like “I don’t want to,” “My tummy hurts,” or simply shut down — which is often fear in disguise.
Physical Symptoms That Seem Like Illness
Anxiety triggers real physical responses:
Stomachaches, nausea, or loss of appetite
Headaches or fatigue
Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or bedtime battles
Because their bodies respond before their words do, these symptoms often show up long before a child mentions fear.
Behavioral Changes to Pay Attention To
You may notice:
Clinginess or refusing to go to school
Repetitive actions (blinking, tapping, checking)
Asking the same reassurance question over and over
A child who needs frequent reassurance isn’t trying to be difficult — they’re trying to feel safe.
When Anxiety Looks Like Defiance
This is where anxiety is most misunderstood.
A child who hides before swim lessons or runs away when guests arrive is not being “bad.” They may be overwhelmed by uncertainty, crowds, noise, or performance pressure.
Sometimes “I won’t” actually means “I’m scared.”
What Helps
Predictable routines ease anxiety by reducing unknowns.
Empathetic validation (“That feels scary, I understand”) reduces shame.
Small steps exposure helps children face challenges without flooding them.
Most importantly — children borrow a sense of safety from adults. If you stay calm and confident, they learn they can be too.
If You’re Unsure
It’s normal to wonder whether a behavior is a phase or something more. A child doesn’t need a diagnosis for their feelings to be taken seriously. Trust your instincts — you know your child best.
Anxiety is manageable, especially when recognized early. Awareness is the first step toward helping a child build lifelong tools for emotional resilience.
